Why i left my husband.
I am alone in Koh Phangan, a little island in Thailand. I have a little house close to the ocean and to a yoga-studio where I go everyday, it is quiet and nice and just what I needed. In the beginning I did not like it at all, I don´t know why, some how I always hate the place I go to the first day or so, maybe because it is not what I imagined, but then somehow I always manage to find the beauty in places.
I have now been traveling with my husband, since we decided to sell everything we own, and just go for our dream. That is more than a year ago now.
Has it been easy? Yes it was easy to sell everything we own, yes it was easy to say goodbye to our old life. But being together 24/7 almost everyday, often living in small spaces around the world (tents, cars, small bungalows etc.), is not that easy. You become each others everything when you travel, that sounds really romantic, but believe me it is not.
Somehow you melt together and become one ( again not romantic), you have to compromise so much that you kind of forget, who YOU are, and what you wanted out of this travel adventure. It all gets very blurry, and you cannot see clearly any more where you stop and he begins.
Yes, so we decided to take a month break from each other. Yep! My husband wanted to go and do Muay Thai training in Chaing Mai (place in Thailand in the jungle) to get really fit and sweaty with a bunch of other manly men, and I wanted the peace, beach and yoga, so of we went.
This is probably the healthiest thing we have ever done for our relationship, taking time apart, not breaking up, just giving each other space to breathe, think and find our way back to who we are as individuals.
Of course I miss him, but I don´t let that over shine my wonderful experience, of being alone and finding back to my center.
A few days after we decided to split up for month, I stumbled over this article from a Danish woman called Sofia Manning, very inspiring. Her blog post was about, demanding her own room, before she moved into her new house with her husband ( you can read the whole blog post here, if you read Danish 😉 )
In short she wanted have her own private space, you know like the men have there garage. But that was not the only thing she wanted, she also wanted 5 days a month, free from her family life, where she could recharge, find back to her center, and go out be with her girlfriends on her own time frame, selfish!? not at all, I think this a very healthy lifestyle she decided for her self.
Funny enough I had a similar conversation, with a customer of mine a few years back, she told me if she could change one thing in her life, then she would have bought a small vacation home at the time her children where small, this would then have been her little escape place every now and then for 1 or 2 days, just to be my her self with a book, a cup tea, just breathe for moment and fill her cup up with self love again. She ended up saying, I think that could have saved my marriage. Selfish not at frocking all.
We women we do it all and we never give us time and space to just take care of our self, we just simply don´t allow our self to be selfish and recharge our energy.
Like Elizbeth Gilbert so nicely said it in a interview, when we go into a relationship, instantly we become a servant and forget who we are and what we wanted out of life. Then years later you get your small midlife crises, where you get depressed or sick with something, because you for all these years have been hiding who you really are and what you wanted out of life.
Then you end up at ‘The Yoga Barn’ in Ubud, in you mid 30s or 40s, depressed and desperate to find the meaning of life. Oh boy I’ve seen it, I listened to them at the women’s circle, and it is not pretty. What do you think Eat Pray Love is all about??
I am telling you this, so that you know If you ever had that thought of you own space, it is OKAY, you are not alone, many of us need a place to recharge.
Demand your space, and start your journey today, find out who you really are and what dreams you have been hiding all these years. Start living and stop being a servant, become clear about who you are. NO it is not selfish.
Big kiss from Thailand, I am on my journey, so join me 🙂 Let´s live outside the box.
I would love to here from you, let my know in the comments down below, what your first step is today, towards demanding your space and becoming clear about, if you are really living the life you truly want?