It’s Time to Stop Blaming Your Parents or Anybody Else!!
This is not an easy one, this is one of those things we hate to look at, but it’s so important that we do.
Our relationship with our parents – aahhh can you feel the chill running down your spine?? I can.
This is one of the topics I have been struggling a lot with in my younger years, because I really wanted to blame my parents for everything that went wrong in life. Why? Because I was thinking if they had just done this or that better, life would have been so much easier for me. Do you ever think the same way?
Way back when, after my bus accident, I went to Bali to search for answers and healing, I was around 24 years old at this time. Dr Bobbi became my first mentor, a very charismatic older lady, very strong in her self and her opinions.
I was laying there on her bench, with needles and incense all over my body, looking like a little bonfire, I was smoking hot one could have said. I started whining of course, telling her how bad my parents have treated me, and blaming everybody else for my misery.
Hold on a minute she sad, so you’re going to blame you parents for everything that went wrong in your life? Yes mam that’s my intention. Young lady, you are old enough to take charge of you own life..! Like… What do you mean, but I am so messed up because of them (and the accident of course, and other stuff, we take care of that later) No Honey, you can´t blame them or any body else any longer. WHAAAT….?????
Yes, as a little girl they may have treated you wrong, but sweetheart, they did the best they could with what they had to offer and learned trough their own lives. It may not have been perfect, but this was what you got.
Now you are an adult yourself, and now you have to take responsibility for your own life.
I could not believe what the lady was telling me, as I was not prepared to hear that, now I also had to stop blaming others and my parents and take responsibility for my own life. Not fun, not fun at all…
This took me years to digest, I wrote letters to my parents, I confronted them with what I thought went wrong, not because I wanted to blame them, but because I wanted these things to stop, stuff needed to be solved before we could get into a different relationship. Finally I forgave them and then I let it all go. I still have stuff going on with my dad, but that will heal over time, I am sure of that.
But here you stand, an unfinished puzzle, not allowed to blame you parents (or anybody else), for the shortcomings of your own life any longer. What can you do??
Yesterday I listened to a podcast with Elisabeth Gilbert, and she explained it very well. Imagine you are a puzzle, some pieces of you are missing, because your parents weren’t able to teach you those life lessons. Maybe your parents where very good at teaching you how to follow your dreams no matter what, but was not able to show you how to forgive when somebody did you wrong.
It is now your responsibility to go and find out what your missing pieces are, and then learn that skill. Find people who a really good at it and learn from them, this is how you can complete your puzzle and become the happy and rind out who you truly are!
Stop blaming (it is all in your head), if somebody has done you wrong in the past and you keep on blaming them for your shortcomings, you are giving them your power, because you chose how to react to a given situation. Yes some people are not nice and we can agree on that, but it is still your choice if you want to walk away with you head up high or crying.
Let go of the past! There is still no time machine invented, as fare as I know, so you cannot go back and undo things, just to let you know!
Have the courage to look inside, and see what parts of the puzzle are missing, and go out in the world and find somebody who can teach you that skill.
Soon, very soon you become the person you were always meant to be. Every time you implement a new skill/puzzle, you get one step closer, but keep in mind, the puzzle is never complete, there is always room for more improvement, no matter how far you have come!
I love the way Elizabeth explained it, it just makes so much sense.
So stop whining about life and blaming others, go out there and take life into your own hands, so you can become even more awesome.
I would love to hear from you what your first step is, on the journey to take back full responsibility for you life and let go of blaming others or your good old parents?? Comment down below – that would make me happy.
Big Kiss from Thailand.